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[17 May 2008|04:58pm] |
ME: TGG, I think I might need a little bit of emotional support right now.
TGG: Why, what happened?
ME: I... I just canceled my World of Warcraft subscription. *sob*
TGG: OHNO.
---
Yes, kids, it had to be done. I just don't have the time or the inclination to play anymore. If I change my mind, I'll come back, but at this point in my life I just can't see paying $$$/month for a game I never play...
Sigh.
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[17 May 2008|02:19pm] |
My dear readers. How are you? Everything well? Good, good...
I want to write but for some reason it's not coming that easily.
TGG is on the couch playing Need for Speed: Carbon. I'm in my pajamas. I'm smiling because, well, life is good.
Yesterday we cleaned out a bunch of garbage from his mom's place and took two loads of stuff to the dump. I met his aunt - awake this time - and she was pleasant and kind. She asked if I wanted to sit down, if I wanted some ice water or soda, told me not to be nervous, and when we were leaving she said, "We don't get many visitors... You're welcome to come back any time!"
I feel loads better. I asked TGG a lot of questions and got things straight about what's wrong with her and I feel a lot more comfortable having met her during a good time.
TGGs mom and I chatted for awhile and you know what? There are so many bizarre ties between us all it's unreal. They lived in my tiny population-under-900 town for a few years. Funny enough, it was the years my family was staying in Oregon. (Note to self: ask my parents if they remember anyone with TGGs last name.) TGG went to my elementary school. His mom taught at the Head Start I went to - the same Head Start I volunteered at years later. Bizarre.
TGG told me later his mom said she likes me and I have character. That is the best compliment... I have character! I have a personality! I'm not a bimbo! Heh. I told him I like his mom, too, and he said, "Yeah I couldn't have picked a better one." He also introduced me to his cat... Picture this: my solid, unshakable, Vulcan'esque man snuggling his kitty and talking in a cutesy-wootsey voice to him. When nuzzled the cats nose and said, "You wuv your daddy, huh?" I literally had to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing. It was adorable and surprising and hilarious.
I bought them groceries. There was a screw-up with Comcast (they took a double payment out of the bank by accident) so I pitched in and bought some food and whatnot until they could get things sorted out. It wasn't a big deal but it made me happy to help them out a bit.
There were other things I wanted to write about but I can't remember right now. Getting distracted by the man on the couch. He's quite lovely. I think I'll run over there and steal a kiss.
Huh. I guess I had something to write about after all!
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[15 May 2008|01:15pm] |
Are you ready to laugh?
Go to Google. Type in "Find Chuck Norris" and then click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.
Don't forget to look at the Suggestions.
Also, maybe be prepared to change your pants.
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[14 May 2008|12:25am] |
TGG is lovely and also I want to choke him.
Lovely: When he called me the other night, he said, "Oh, I forgot to tell you! I'm doing a bowl-a-thon for the Children's Miracle Network next Wednesday, and a charity walking event for them on the 31st." Bless his heart, he likes kids after all!
Chokeable: When I mentioned that I've been throwing up and feeling generally miserable, he said, "Maybe you should get a pregnancy test, just for the hell of it. Worst case, I can pick up the Plan B pill for you." What I said in my mind, kind of a knee-jerk reaction, was, "GO DIE." What I said in reality was, "We'd have to talk about that and besides I'M NOT FUCKING PREGNANT."
Ok, maybe I didn't say fuck. But it was implied.
Sure, I have some symptoms. The puking, for one. The random hiccups, for two. Being completely exhausted pretty much constantly. All the symptoms of pregnancy but no fetus! Hooray!
I swear to you, I can't be pregnant. CAN'T BE. I just had my period - heavier than normal, by the way, so it couldn't have been implantation bleeding. We haven't had sex since then. I'm on birth control, in case everyone's forgotten.
This is my uterus. See? Empty. Empty and floppy.
It slightly irritated me that he was so quick to jump on the Plan B pill. I'm all kinds of pro-choice but for me, personally... Don't know that I could do it. I want kids, eventually, and with my E-Z Bake Oven issues, who knows if it'll ever happen? If I get myself knocked up with an oops-baby, would I want to risk that being the only pregnancy I'd ever have and just get rid of it?
I'd have to think really hard about it.
Eh, I'm not that irritated with him. Too exhausted to be irritated. He let me have a good cry about how ick I'm feeling. Two pukes in two days! Bleargh. He gave me advice about dealing with doctors, making lists of symptoms to paint them a better picture, etc. He's a good guy - supportive without being mushy, proactive about problems instead of reactive. I <3 TGG.
---
I'm having a really, really hard time getting motivated to finish my doula course. Even if I finish the book reports and the Communications essay, I still need a birth, and it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Even if I get a birth, and get my doula cert, what am I going to do with it? I'm not pushy, not a salesman, so how would I ever get my own business off the ground?
I know I should finish it. I paid money for this after all. But I'm just having a hard time kicking myself into gear. Sigh.
---
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your stories and advice. Honestly, it made me feel much better. Stupid Virgo brain! No more thinking for you or it's the rolled up newspaper again!
You all rawk my world. *much love and hugs*
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[11 May 2008|11:13pm] |
Quickly...
I have been coughing and gagging a lot lately, but just now is the first time in awhile that I've actually thrown up. I AM NOT PREGNANT. But it isn't pleasant. TGG thinks it's allergies - I've been coughing and sneezing like crazy. He wants me to try some over-the-counter allergy meds. I think I might.
Also...
Mother's Day. I got up early and went to my mom's house. This is an example of what she does:
My dad somehow got signed up for a Scientology mailing list. We were laughing and talking about what Scientologists believe and how it came about. I mentioned the "silent birth" thing and my sister squirmed. "How can anyone NOT make noise when they're in labor!?"
My mom... Sigh. My mom said in that infuriatingly calm voice she uses for lies, "I didn't make any noise at all."
It's not a huge lie, but I'm sure it's a lie. When we asked my dad if she had cried out at all, he shrugged and said he didn't remember. He's learned to let her have her delusions, which is sad on so many levels.
It drives me nuts. All these little lies, all the time. I can't deal with it. I wished her a Happy Mother's Day and left as soon as I could.
Also...
Have you ever done something that you were so ashamed of, but the person you "sinned" against seems not to care? But you keep beating yourself up even though they see nothing wrong?
I cut TGG's hair and it came out shorter than he wanted and slightly crooked. I've cut hair before, my own curly locks included, so I figured his long curly hair would be no problem. I lost all confidence once I started though, and couldn't bring myself to fix the crookedness for fear of making it worse and even shorter.
I'm trying to tell myself it's not that noticeable, and hair grows. He hasn't said a word against me but I've convinced myself he's secretly furious. I'm also trying to convince myself that, contradictory to what I've already convinced myself, what he said is true - not much makes him angry or upset.
He hasn't once rebuked me, hasn't said anything negative at all about it. Why do I feel such god-awful shame? Why can't I shake it? I don't know. I haven't felt this horrible in so long. I feel sick to my stomach with the humiliation.
Maybe that's why my tummy revolted tonight.
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[07 May 2008|10:51am] |
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I dreamed about a singing hedgehog. No, really!
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[05 May 2008|01:21pm] |
Before I say anything else, I did talk to my room mate. He rolled his eyes and said, "Ok."
And that was that.
Typical John response. At least I confronted him, yeah?
Now back to our regularly scheduled journal entry.
---
His clothes are scattered across my bedroom floor. His backpack is propped up against my bed. Pictures from when he lived in California are on my dressers. His presence is everywhere and I'm digging it.
TGG hasn't officially moved in but his stuff is slowly accumulating.
He found a rave toy last night - bright purple wire flashy awesomeness. I was sitting in a chair, flinging it around clumsily because that's what I do, and he was on one knee beside me. At one point I happened to glance his way... The smile on his face was indescribably lovely. It seemed to me that he knew I was excited and happy, and it made him excited and happy to have been the one who made me feel so. When I tried to hand the flashytoy back, he shook his head and smiled that smile and said, "Keep it."
Ah, god, that smile may be the death of me. Heart... skipping beats. Eyes... getting goopy. Chest... tightening. Hurgurgurk.*
There have been so many times over the past weekend when the "L" word was very nearly said. It felt natural but I stopped myself from doing it. Not sure why. I know I care about him, and I've said here and to certain friends that I love him. (How disgustingly Jr High is this? Bleh.) I think I've loved him for a long time, it's just recently evolved into a romantic type love instead of a friendship. I don't feel uncomfortable with it because we have such a long history to base it on. But I don't know that I'm ready to say it. I don't want it to be meaningless or trite. I don't want to say it if it'll make him uncomfortable. And, god forbid, I don't want him to think it means he has to say it back.
For now I think it's enough for me to feel it. Not so sure I have to say it at this point.
What about you guys? When did you know it was the right time to say those three words? Did it just slip out or did you plan it? How long before it was said, and were the feelings mutual? TELL ME STORIES.
(* That's my death noise. What do you think?)
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[30 Apr 2008|11:55pm] |
I'm not quite sure if it's the birth control that's making me cry at the drop of a hat, or if it's life being freaking amazing.
I was a hairsbreadth away from sobbing with joy tonight on the phone with TGG. Earlier this week James asked if we would like to join him for some fancy art museum thing on Friday and I squidged a little on the inside. I like art and museums and my BFF James - it sounded like a fun night to me! But I knew TGG would be less than thrilled. He's not a hoity-toity artfart. At all.
When I broached the subject tonight, he decided we should try to make an appearance. "I thought you wouldn't want to go," I laughed.
"I don't, really. But I know it's something you'd enjoy, and it'll be good to see James again. It's rare that he wants to hang out these days so we shouldn't miss the opportunity."
Queue the waterworks! Do you see what he did there? He's doing something he really doesn't like because it makes me happy.
I managed (just) to stave off the sniffling. Instead, I squeaked, "Do you know how incredibly happy you make me?"
"Quite a lot, I'm guessing."
You have no idea, dear. None at all.
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[30 Apr 2008|07:31pm] |
Someone asked me recently what I think is the definition of romance. I took a long time to think about it, and my answer took me by surprise. In the past I considered romance to be those traditional ideals - bringing me flowers, going on dates, massages, surprise gifts, affectionate touches and words. I've had all those things, and more, and all of them were false. The people who showered me in gifts, shouted their love from the rooftops... All of them were using "romance" as a way to capture and keep me. They wanted something from me or saw me as something I wasn't. I was a project to be worked on, a savior, a little girl to be protected. I fell into these roles because I had a habit of becoming what other people want of me. Romance was a way to get my attention and then keep me around, I guess.
Now that I've found who I want to be, and I'm working on becoming that person more and more each day, my definition of romance has changed. Flowers are nice, gifts are all right, affection is lovely, but there's more to it than that. Knowing that he listens to me, even when I'm just babbling, and acts upon what he hears... that's romance. The way he laughs at my jokes, even if they're intensely stupid. That's romance, too. The way my opinion matters to him. How he'll step up and make a decision when I'm feeling un-decisionly. Helping me set up our new entertainment center... (and by "help" I mean do it for me while I sit on the couch and wonder if I should be doing something to help but knowing instinctively that I'll just get in the way if I try.) When he orders my food at a restaurant - and knows exactly what I want. Complimenting me on the sly. Driving when I don't feel like it. Calling every day, just to "bug" me.
That's all romantic to me. Those are the things that make me smile. It'd be nice to get flowers and massages, every once in awhile, but what he does for me is much better than any bunch of stinky old roses.
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[29 Apr 2008|12:45pm] |
Are any of you out there Torchwood fans? I love Torchwood. I missed a few episodes in the start of the second season - pity, because I don't know why Owen is dead-but-alive - but I've been catching up with the more recent stuff.
The last episode (ep13 I believe) had me bawling on the couch this morning like a little bitch baby butterfly. That's all I really have to say about that.
--
There's someone in our group of friends who is driving me batshit crazy. This person has always slightly gotten on my nerves but it's over the top now. Over the weekend this person was bossing me around, complaining about things that don't really fucking matter, and when I stood up for myself* this person pouted and got pissy about it.
The thing is, though, I can't tell if this person has actually gotten worse or if I'm just more hormonal and irritable (I'm due to take out the BC in two days).
Ugh. Just going to grin and bear it.
(* In a fit of irritated snapping, I admit.)
--
In other news, things are going just peachy with TGG. I'm still sort of in shock over this whole thing but I'm dealing well with it. There have been moments of "Whafuck...? I have a boyfriend?" but I'm enjoying it. He's going to come to karaoke next week, maybe. Finally going to make that boy an official member of Table 29!
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[27 Apr 2008|10:42pm] |
Not only did he bring me lunch today, he prepared it in our break room for me.
Who could ask for more?
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| You know it's for real when... |
[25 Apr 2008|01:19am] |
...there's discussion of joining a gym together.
Next step: Target Wedding Registry!*
(*JOKE. Seriously, don't be checking Target's website anytime soon.)
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[22 Apr 2008|12:47pm] |
For the past four or five days I've been feeling sluggish and unmotivated. Evil Stomach(™) has been out of control. Nodding off at work, not exercising, eating way too much... I couldn't figure out what was going on. Why was I acting so messed up?
Getting dressed this morning I looked up at my closet at the biohazard bucket on my shelf. I stared at it for a minute and felt something in my brain stir and try to swim to the surface. It took awhile (I told you, I'm feeling sluggish!) but the thought finally broke through: did I give myself a b-12 shot last week?
Hah!
I had been wondering whether or not it was actually doing anything. Now I know! Not only did I not remember, but I never once even thought about it. I haven't missed a dose since I started this! I mean, I've pushed it back for a few days for whatever reason but never completely spaced it!
I guess I've been, ahem, distracted...
Heh.
---
Last night at karaoke some kid tried to start shit with me. I won't go into details because what he said was completely uncalled for and sickening. I just want to note that during his tirade, I thought to myself, "If he lays one hand on me, I'm throwing him through a window." It was a cool and calm thought, not a hint of anger in it, but... WTF?
I can count the times I've been violent/physically aggressive on one hand. It's just not me. Even when a man put his hands on me I took it because I didn't want to hurt him back. You hear that, internets? I accepted abuse and couldn't defend myself because I was afraid of hurting someone who had already hurt me first.
Not anymore.
I know better. I'm more than willing to stand up for myself, and I know my friends are more than willing to stand up for me if I don't.
I just felt sorry for that boy. He's on a tough road and it will only get tougher if he keeps doing what he's doing. I just want to shake the shit out of him and tell him to wake up. Picking fights with people. What for? Adrenaline is fun, but what are you left with? Nothing at best or a night in jail with a fucked up face at worst.
I don't understand people sometimes.
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[21 Apr 2008|12:02am] |
So it's even more official: TGG will be moving in within a few weeks.
As I was getting ready for work this morning, TGG asked when I thought John would be home. I shrugged and offered to call and ask. He said yeah, I said okay, and John said he'd be home soon.
While I was at work, the boys had a talk. And my boyfriend (MY BOYFRIEND!?) will be moving in with us.
I know people are going to be weird about it. "You've only been dating for a week!" Yeah, I know that! But I've also been friends with TGG for two years. He's been staying the weekend with me for the past few months. He has mopped my floors. I'm pretty sure this is an okay move.
Anyway, it's only temporary. He wants a place to stay while he saves up money and finds a place of his own. That's fine with me. He's going to pay us rent, naturally, but this is a 60-90 day layover.
"We have to set aside a weekend to go apartment hunting," he said tonight. "We?" I asked, smiling.
"Of course I'm going to drag you along."
I love that he wants to include me in that sort of mundane crap. We're going to go rent a storage unit together - a place to store the boxes in my closet, and the tires that have taken up residence in the back of my car for the past six months. He's got to have a place to put his beds, his boxes, etc.
Subject change! I'm feeling rambly!
Tonight (avert thine eyes, virgins among ye!) we talked about our sex life. It is and always has been pretty damn good. We've talked about including someone else in the past - another set of hands to guide me to new heights. "I want you to have that experience at least once in your life. If you decide it's not something you want to repeat, we can drop it."
It's not about his pleasure, that. It's about me. He's had several subs at once and wants me to know that pleasure as well.
I, of course, had that girly flash of insecurity. Do I want my boyfriend (MY BOYFRIEND!?) guiding some other woman's hands? Do I want to see her touching him? I didn't say anything but of course he knew. "It's more up to you who we include than me. We'll have to have a talk about who and what you're comfortable with. You need to tell me if there's anything you don't want or don't think you can handle. And I want to make it clear," he continued, "That there is a difference between us inviting someone else into our bed and an 'open relationship'. This is not an open relationship."
At which point I sighed in relief.
We discussed different scenarios and I was honest with him. There are things that we could have done when we weren't dating that I don't know I'd be comfortable with now. When we sit down and have this talk, I know what I want to say. "As long as you know my heart is yours, and I know yours is mine..."
Switching subjects!
I'm pretty damn lucky, you know. He's a good man. I've been thinking about it a lot and I know in my heart I wouldn't have been able to handle his... different, I suppose, way of caring when we first met. I was selfish and insecure and not very stable. The things I've learned about myself over the last year'ish have changed me, made me stronger. I have learned to really appreciate what I have and I do, I do, I do. I'm lucky that TGG stuck around to witness that change. I don't know if he thinks of it this way (and I'm pretty sure he doesn't - he can be damn near Vulcan sometimes) but it feels like he waited for me. He waited for me to get to this point where I could appreciate and care for him completely, without all that old baggage and all that old self-loathing. He stuck around (and he didn't have to!) and now we've got this friendship that's blossomed into a simple, sweet, fun relationship.
I'm so lucky. And I'm so, so happy.
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[19 Apr 2008|05:12pm] |
You know how when you're freshly taken, all of a sudden there are hordes of guys wanting you?
Well it wasn't hordes, per se. Just one guy.
It was Leigh's bachelorette party last night. We went downtown to a pretty quiet bar and proceeded to get smashed. There was a dj playing some really awesome ambient / trance tunes, very chill. He heard me talking about his style of music and we got into a discussion about the rave scene, different flavors of techno, the fact that Tiesto is playing in Seattle May 31st...
Let me take a moment to describe this man. Tall African-American guy, skinny, SEXY, gorgeous smile. Leigh's friend M leaned over at one point and whispered, "He can't keep his eyes off of you!" I glanced up and he was peeking at me from around his speakers.
I was flattered, of course. Are you kidding? Gorgeous man hitting on me all night long. Wanna hear something funny though?
Not once was I tempted.
I kept thinking, "He's cute, but I have something a lot better waiting for me at home." It made me smile. It still makes me smile.
TGG is such a sweet guy. Every day he surprises me with something - some act of kindness, some service rendered. While I was at the bar, he was at home doing the dishes, straightening up the house, hooking up the surround sound system... He doesn't even live here! When I got home, drunken me went to bed early while TGG, John, and Wendy stayed up watching movies. The bass on the surround sound was LOUD and woke me up after a couple of hours. I was still drunk, and now I was drunk and half asleep, so when I stumbled out of the bedroom I couldn't find the words to explain why I was awake.
TGG was up in a flash, hugging me tight and asking if I was okay. I was fine, fine, fine, just a little irritated by the bass, but the words got tangled somewhere between my tongue and my back teeth. He pulled me into the bedroom and closed the door, holding me and asking again if I was all right. The tender concern in his voice made me so happy I thought I might cry. I'd never heard that tone out of him before and it really drove home how much he cares, even if I never hear the words.
I finally got it out - the bass was rattling my skull - and he told me he'd take care of it. "The movie is almost over and then I'll be to bed, okay?"
Okay, dear. More than okay. Perfectly divine.
To be honest, I sort of hate writing about this. There's so much more, words simply can't do it justice. Writing about it cheapens it, I think. How can I explain how it feels when he shares the last Java Monster with me, without saying a word? Is there a way to describe how fluttery I feel when I roll over and kiss his cheek in the morning and he gives that contented little grunt and snuggles that much closer to me?
It's magnificent. I'm basking in it. I'm happy and I hope y'all will forgive me for being flighty for the next few days weeks months.
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[16 Apr 2008|12:00am] |
There I was, all set to write a post about how nothing has really changed between TGG and I. He calls more, but... You know. Not a huge change. He's also marginally more affectionate. And calls me "my dear" more often. Nothing new. Those things were already a part of our friendship they're just... more common now.
And then he called me tonight and you know? I think things may have changed a bit.
Friday he wants to go shopping for speaker stands, so he can bring over his surround sound system to set up in the apartment. He's also going to drop me off and pick me up when I go to Leigh's bachelorette party so I don't have to worry about driving drunk. There are two twin-sized Craftmatic adjustable beds for grabs when his family moves and he asked if I thought he should grab them for me*. He offered to let me use his 24" wide screen super nice computer monitor because mine's old and beat up.
He's giving and doing and I'm a bit in shock. It's nice! It's nice and it's MY BOYFRIEND doing nice things for me! Wow. I forgot what that was like, it's been ages...
The call ended with a "Have a good night, I'll call you..." (voice dropping three octaves) "...tomorrow..." We hung up and I sat down to read blogs.
Almost immediately the phone rang again.
I answered the phone with a grin. "Did you miss me that much?"
He chuckled and then dropped THE BOMB. "I forgot to tell you! I have a surprise for you on Friday!"
Dammit, TGG! Damn you and your gentle yet incessant teasing!
He should know I hate surprises! I don't even like having a birthday party because people bring presents and they are SURPRISES and I don't want to open them because I don't know what's in there!
I begged him to tell me and, of course, he wouldn't. "I will tell you that it's colorful," he teased. "And I will tell you that you'll like it."
Sigh. I tried guessing and he said, "Even if you guess, I'm not going to tell you!"
DAYS of me biting my nails. DAYS of turning the clues over and over in my head, obsessing over what it might be.
And yeah, as much as it sounds like I hate it... I'm secretly thrilled. How could I not be? TGG is such a sweetheart, in his way. He's doing these thoughtful things for me and I appreciate it so, so much.
I have a boyfriend, y'all. A really good one! How did that happen?
(* Apparently they bolt together? And he's got pillowtop thingies for 'em? And they're, you know, adjustable? I'm not down with the Craftmatic lingo yet, sorry.)
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[13 Apr 2008|11:43pm] |
Your Inner Child Is Surprised
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You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.
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[12 Apr 2008|03:25pm] |
I knew it before now, but it was proven to me last night.
TGG is not a verbal communicator. At all. But his actions say so much...
Simple little things. Last night while we were out on the porch, the pain momentarily had me doubled over. After I caught my breath, I asked if he had seen the heating pad while he was in the bedroom.
"No," he said. "But I wasn't exactly looking."
I thought that would be the end of it. I was going to check for myself when we got back inside. That's when he put out his cigarette and walked into the house. "Going to play games," I said, smiling.
"Nope."
He went into the bedroom, found the heating pad, and brought it out for me.
It's stupid and simple and small but really it meant so much. He could have ignored what I said, or forgotten about it. He didn't commiserate with me about the pain, or say he was sorry or that he wished there was something he could do. He just went and got the heating pad.
My man is a man of action.
We talked last night about it. Even if he doesn't respond, verbally, to what I'm saying, he remembers. He remembers everything. And acts on it.
I teased him about giving me a back rub last night. Since then, every time we're curled up together, he reaches down and rubs my back. Without a word, without asking if I'd like him to, he just does it.
I think I can deal with that.
Also, he's brilliant. He fixed the grill that has been sitting, broken, on our porch for about six months. He screwed around with it for about five minutes and, whoosh!, it was fixed!
Clever man.
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[11 Apr 2008|10:21pm] |
We went out for ice cream and sandwiches. We went grocery shopping and bought breakfast for tomorrow morning. We came back home and he played with his new LED lights. Then I made him cuddle me on the couch.
"So," he said. "I've made you wait a week."
"Yeah," I said, feeling weirdly nervous and excited. I knew what was coming, of course, but I couldn't help but have the jitters.
He tickled me a little and I swatted his hands away, telling him I'm still a bit sore. (It's my "OH GOD I WANT TO DIE" week.) He said something about getting a hernia and we both started giggling. And we couldn't stop.
"How'd it go with TGG? Oh he gave me a hernia." More giggling. "Don't turn inside out like a sea cucumber," he said suddenly, and we laughed hysterically. We couldn't calm down, either of us, and we laughed until the miserable ache in my side turned into an angry horde of bees stinging my ovary region.
After the laughing subsided into random bursts of giggles he cleared his throat. "So. Do you want to make it official?"
I began laughing again. I couldn't help it. "I waited all week for that?" It was too much and we laughed more.
There was a little more talking and giggling, and I said, "Say it nice."
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" He was grinning and ever so slightly sarcastic.
"Without the sarcasm!"
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" He was still grinning and I think maybe that's the most lovely look I've ever seen on his face.
"Yeah, sure."
And then we kissed.
And now I have a boyfriend*.
MY BOYFRIEND is on the couch, playing with his MTV Music Maker. MY BOYFRIEND. How weird is that? I should stop writing this entry and go hang out with MY BOYFRIEND.
Hah! Boyfriend... Neat.
(* I asked if, you know, it was exclusive or whatever. "Yeah, that's kind of the point of being with someone," he said. So. There you have it.)
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[09 Apr 2008|05:17pm] |
Weighed in again today. I lost three pounds this week! Yay me!
I’m not going to win. I didn’t really care about winning anyway. (My boss has lost 14 pounds. Bitch.) Still at 7 pounds lost which is GOOD, yeah? For not really trying, I’d say that’s a hell of an accomplishment.
Two weeks left in the competition... But after that, I’m going to keep on with this whole eating right thing. It hasn’t been that hard. Except, you know, on the weekends.
Yeah.
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