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[05 Jul 2009|08:49pm] |
Well, here it is.
I had to give Google Sites the bird and start over with a free site. Did you know Google Sites does NOT allow you to enter your own HTML? What you see is what you get, they call it. I can't believe I paid freaking ten dollars to get boned like that.
SO, introducing...
http://7thhousedoula.110mb.com/
There's nothing there yet. And I can't figure out how to make the "news" column go away. That's what I get for using pre-form templates, huh? Any webbly-inclined folk have any hints?
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[03 Jul 2009|11:57am] |
Quick update. I keep meaning to set up my website but, alas, Google Sites is a bunch of funky a-holes and won't send me my login information and they have no customer service phone number. Fuckers.
- Look out world... I introduced Phil to WoW. >.< We were looking for something to keep him occupied and keep his mind off of his... Obsessions. This seems to have done the trick as he spends most of his off-work time WoWing. Ah, well. He's having fun and hasn't backslid, not even once.
- By the way, our relationship is better than ever. The whole debacle is over and we've opened up to each other in ways we never could had that not happened. THIS is what a healthy relationship is meant to be, and by god, I'm really learning to accept and love it for what it is. Heart is full to bursting, so it is, so it is.
- Hanging your clothes to dry out in the sunshine may just be the most beautiful thing, everever. I've been itching to do it since I noticed the hanging... rack?... Whatever it's called, out in our backyard. I love the fact that I'm saving money and energy, and getting some fresh air and sunshine all at the same time. Tips: hang your bottoms from the top, and your tops from the bottom. Turn t-shirts and things inside out so the sun doesn't fade the logos. The stiffness will come out with five minutes in the dryer on "low". Don't bunch them all together - stagger them on different lines, if you can. I do love it.
- Buying the house. It's still on but we're going to wait until next year. That way we have time to clean up our credit a bit more and save up for a down payment. Luckily, the owners are totally fine with that. I love this house, and I love that it's going to be our home. Plus, as Phil says, it's got a POOL. How cool is that?
- School starts on my birthday. I'm more excited than words can describe. It'll be tough as hell, working full time and going to school full time, but I'm so ready. I daydream about finally starting to attend births again. All this knowledge I've collected will NOT go to waste! I'm ready, dammit!
- Endometriosis. It's back in full force. Not even a year since my surgery and it's just as bad as it used to be. There's a doctor in Bend, OR, who is one of the leading Endo docs in the country. For a small fee ($125 *cough*) he will look over your medical records and personal account of your pain and suggest a course of treatment. He also does surgeries to seek out all the lesions and endospots and remove them - kind of what I did last year but much more thorough. Problem is, traveling, taking time off of work, and coming up with my $1000 deductible is practically impossible right now. I need to do it because I can't risk my schooling and career by being in pain all the time. Gah, stupid money.
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[08 May 2009|08:09am] |
Well, one more thing I guess.
We got offered the house we want!!!
House, midwifery school, kickass boyfriend... Pretty good for a girl who, for awhile, didn't want or expect to live to see her twenty-fifth year, huh?
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[06 May 2009|09:15pm] |
Phil and I have decided to take our relationship to the next level...
We're getting a checking account together.
---
I haven't said much because I really have no desire to write at the moment. Life has been (mostly) wonderful and I'm busy getting ready for school and whatnot.
I'm going to close down the journal soon.
I'm going to have a website soon'ish - www.7thhousedoula.com - and I'm sure I'll set up a "where am I now" section. I just don't have the desire to chronicle every single moment of my life anymore. I just want to live it and enjoy it and I think I'm doing a damn fine job.
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[16 Apr 2009|04:26pm] |
To the skinny women sitting near me at work:
Shut the fuck up.
Seriously.
So, Ms Size Five, you tried on a swimming suit yesterday and you were disgusted? Really? Must you go on and on about how disgusting and flabby you are? You have a problem. Seek counseling.
And Ms Size Seven, you think it's "cute" when your babies, under the age of 10 all of them, say they can't eat something because it will make them fat? You think that's CUTE?! That's passing on your eating disorder to the next generation.
You sicken me. Eat a fucking donut already. Maybe that'll raise your blood sugar enough for you to think about what you're doing to yourselves and your children.
xoxo
katrina
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[05 Apr 2009|07:55pm] |
If you're the praying type, would you say a little one for us? We may have found a solution to becoming homeowners that would:
- circumvent our crappy credit
- allow us to have a good house in a decent neighborhood for a great price
- not involve parents
It's not much more than a twinkling at the moment but it seems to be exactly what we've been waiting for. So, if you would be so kind...
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[27 Mar 2009|05:34pm] |
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Oh and also? I have a cavity.
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[27 Mar 2009|11:40am] |
File under "Letters I Will Never Send".
Boss,
When I come to you with a problem, I don't need you to point out that I'm frustrated. I don't need you to ask why I'm getting so worked up about this. I don't need you to make me even more upset and frustrated by pointing out that I don't need to be so upset and frustrated. I don't need you to completely ignore my original request and tell me that I'm looking at you like I hate your guts. It's not very professional to haul me into a conference room where you proceed to tell me how I should feel and react to any given situation until I'm crying with helpless anger.
What I need you to do (and, oh, it's so simple!) is acknowledge there's a problem and address the steps you're going to take to resolve it. When I come to you and say, "This isn't working!" I don't need you to tell me to calm down and stop getting so upset about things. I need you to say, "That sure is a problem. Here's what we can do..."
You're lucky I didn't walk out today. The only reason I didn't is because school doesn't start for another six months and I need some kind of income until then.
No love whatsoever (aka, yes I WAS looking at you like I hate your guts),
Katrina
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[24 Mar 2009|07:05pm] |
Random ideas for my business card / website icon. Thoughts?
Lovely lady:
"Smudge" icon:
"Mosaic" icon:
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[24 Mar 2009|04:59pm] |
Randomly: "If you could get me any present in the world, no matter the cost, what would it be?"
Without hesitation: "A birthing center."
<3
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[21 Mar 2009|08:17pm] |
What I think about Obama's Leno appearance:
I don't care that he went on Leno. Yes, it's sad that politics has become such a freakshow. But honestly, how else is he going to reach the masses with his message? Most people want everything spoon fed to them. They're not going to take the time to seek out information.
The Special Olympics gaffe... On the one hand, he's the president. He should have known better. There are things you just don't say when you're in such a publicly powerful position. Though I thought it was cool that he immediately called to apologize instead of sitting on it and hoping no one would notice like some other presidents and their cronies...
On the other hand... Who hasn't said "retard" or "special ed" or made fun of people riding (or in my case, driving) the short bus? It's just part of our culture. We're offensive on a daily basis whether we mean to be or not.
And now, back to MythBusters and figuring out the weekly menu and laundry and spending time with the Cabin Boy and, oh yes, trying to fight off this vile plague.
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[20 Mar 2009|06:52pm] |
*snort*
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[19 Mar 2009|07:36pm] |
I think I may have pushed myself too hard.
Parking a couple of blocks away from work, taking the (five flights of outdoor) stairs, in the middle of winter... I was just weakening my immune system, apparently. When Brandon brought home the plague, my health slowly collapsed like a poorly executed soufflé.
I haven't had a voice since Sunday. A little fever since Saturday. Ninety-two flaming daggers stabbing me in the tonsils since Sunday eve.
I went to the doctor Tuesday. Quick strep test came back negative. I went back to work, thinking I wasn't contagious. Wednesday evening they called and said, "Oops! It was strep!"
Now on antibiotics... No marked improvement. In fact, surprise!, I've somehow acquired a rash under one swollen, red-rimmed, weeping eye. It's not pinkeye. I've had pinkeye. I know pinkeye. Me and the goopy-eye, we're like this. This is no pinkeye.
Bleargh.
Other than the house being a general plague area, things are fabu. I mentioned Geocaching to Phil and he said he was looking into it already. Plans for Seattle are coming together nicely thought it looks like we'll be busy, busy, busy. Just counting down the days until Fall when I can take the first step to midwifery...
But first I have to cure the plague.
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[15 Mar 2009|08:39pm] |
I seem to have acquired the plague.
It is Phil's birthday. I got him a GPS... thing. It's distracting when you drive.
We went to Shogun yesterday.
Mmm... scallops.
I've lost a total of 18 pounds so far.
Going to go waste away on the couch and watch Top Model reruns.
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[10 Mar 2009|09:34pm] |
Just to let you know... I'm kind of an idiot.
I visited a well-known Shatner-supported travel site. I wanted to see what kind of deal I could get there vs. other travel sites. It asked me to name my price and choose how nice of a hotel. Then it asked me to enter my credit card info.
This is where I should have stopped and thought, "Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't do this."
Apparently my thinker is broken.
I blithely put in all my information and, voila!, I'm staying at the Seattle Renaissance Hotel!
Oops!
Oh well. Three star hotel at $75 a night in downtown Seattle... Not a bad price. I'm comin' to Seattle, bitches. Watch out!
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[07 Mar 2009|11:57am] |
I know a couple of you live over in Seattle... Phil and I are thinking about heading over there in April for our anniversary.
I was looking at the CityPass - worth it or not?
Any downtown hotels you'd recommend? Restaurants you like? (Note: I must have sushi, but the restaurant's got to have other options for Mr. Phil "Fish Sticks Are The Extent of My Tolerance of Seafood" ManlyMan.) Any comedy stuff / neat shows going on in April we should know about?
Oh and if Phil and I do head over there, we should do lunch. ;)
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[28 Feb 2009|09:54am] |
And just so you're aware...
Since January 1st, when I started the fast (and the 11th when I started WW)...
Sixteen pounds as of today. Tomorrow's my official weigh in day so we'll see if I can squeeze another one out, heh.
I want to lose another four in the next two weeks to make it to my pre-surgery weight. Another fifteen after that to make it to my pre-Collin weight. Another ten after that to make it to the skinniest I've been in six+ years.
That's as far as my goals go. If I lose two pounds a week, it'll take me about three months to do that. Do I think I can do it?
Hells yeah, this shit's easy.
WiiFitting or DDRing three+ times a week for 30-60 minutes, drinking craptons of water (with those CrystalLight digestive health good-for-you to-go packets sometimes), vitamins every day, parking a couple of blocks away and walking in to work...
Oh, and sticking to my points. It's easy if, in the morning, I plan out what I will have for breakfast and lunch, and what my snacks will be. Then I know how much I'll have for dinner/dessert. I rarely go over my points. We've been eating WW meals for dinner - Phil just adds cheese or sauce or something to his to make it fatty enough. I can still eat greasy, bad for me foods if I want to. You know the cheap $1 Jack in the Box tacos? Seven points for two. That's a reasonable amount for a meal and they fill me up and sooth that grease craving. For sweets, Andes Mints. EIGHT of those is only five points. Typically, I only have two (1.5 points) and it satisfies. Have you heard of Fruitabu's? They're labeled as "Organic Smooshed Fruit" and they're DELICIOUS. One Grape Twirl (think grape flavored fruit by the foot, only good for you) is two points and it's sweet and smooshy and delicious!
The changes in my body are actually kind of gross. I mentioned before how it feels like I'm a 3/4 full sausage under my skin now... Yeah, that hasn't gotten any better. My stomach and hips are squishy. It's mortifying. The loose skin on my hands has shrunk up though. The pants I was struggling to button are loose now. It's surprisingly much easier to move around. I can't imagine losing 100 lbs - I'd float right up into the air!
I can't believe this is actually working. I've dieted (and even done WW) before and failed, failed, failed. This time, I'm not beating myself up over it, or keeping a sharp eye on everything I put into my mouth, or making sure I ONLY eat salads and veggies. This time I'm eating what I like, just not so much of it. I'm not pressuring myself into anything. If I go over my points, well, I've got those spare ones floating around, and my activity points. Sometimes a girl just needs some chocolate cake.
Easy peasy.
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[19 Feb 2009|07:22am] |
I didn't know.
Cousin M read the same books I do. In fact, while my dad was cleaning out his apartment, he decided to bring me home some of M's books. He called to ask if that was okay with me. I said yes. He said, "I know you like Stephen King. He's got one here called Wizard and Glass..."
I was speechless.
That's the exact book I'm reading right now. The book was sitting less than two feet from me when my dad called.
I cried.
---
I'm trying to deal with some severely disappointing things at the moment. I've been working on my credit and paid off some old debts. I was told in the fall I should try again for a mortgage this month.
When I re-applied, they said, "Well we can't do anything for you because debt X from 2003 that you've been disputing for SIX YEARS was resubmitted to a credit agency last month, lowering your credit even further than it was before you paid off the old credit card." The douche went so far as to tell me, "You know, if you would have declared bankruptcy a couple of years ago we could have gotten you into a house right now."
EXCUSE ME!?
So because I'm doing the right and honorable thing I'm being punished? I'm trying to pay off the debts I incurred. OF COURSE it would have been easier to declare bankruptcy when I had to move back here from Montana and had thirty thousand dollars in debt. But I've been doing what I believe is RIGHT and paying off those debts slowly, one by one.
I could have taken the easy way out. I thought about it. But I decided I wanted to right my wrongs myself.
And now it's costing me a real honest-to-god home.
If I don't get a house within the next six months, it's not going to happen for the next seven years. I'll be in school for at least that long and no one's going to give a home loan to a full-time student.
I don't know what to do anymore. It seems like any decision I make is the wrong one right now. I feel like giving up...
Phil says if I did, though, I wouldn't be the person he fell in love with. "That was one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place," he said. "You don't give up. You have such a strong will."
Sigh.
I won't give up. I never do. I cry and whine and get angry but I always end up doing SOMETHING.
Still sucks, though.
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[13 Feb 2009|05:32pm] |
I took the day off. I (understandably) had a hard time sleeping last night. I spent the day crying off and on, cleaning like a fiend, waiting for the autopsy report, and moving boxes and things we'll never use into the spare room. I logged into my work email and got told: STOP WORRYING ABOUT WORK WE HAVE IT HANDLED PLEASE JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
I feel like... I don't know how to describe it. Like I should be doing something, anything, but I don't know what it is I'm supposed to do.
I called the loan officer we're going to be working with today. Filled out all the things he needed. Haven't heard back yet.
I also haven't heard back about the autopsy. We don't know why he died. I don't know if someone else was involved, if he killed himself or if he just... slipped away...
Phil's Valentine's present came in the mail today. I think he'll like it. It's an LED color changing light bulb with a remote control and all kinds of different settings. He likes flashy things.
He's been supportive, of course, but he had to work today. The boys had school. I've been alone with the cat all day, and he's not the best conversationalist. Unless you count MEOWI'MHUNGRYMEOWMEOWMEOW.
I vacuumed today.
Most of the laundry is done.
I gave the finger to Weight Watchers for the day and had a huge bowl of Thai soup with spring rolls on the side. Might ask Phil to pick me up some ColdStone ice cream on the way home.
Why am I grieving this deeply? We hadn't been close in years. I haven't seen him since my Nana's funeral in... 2000? 2001?
I don't know. I don't, not at all. But I'm going to let myself cry it out and mourn as much as I need to. I haven't been through any really "close" deaths yet.
Maybe this is practice...
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[12 Feb 2009|10:50pm] |
It just fucking FIGURES doesn't it? Everything is swell, peachy keen, except for the fact that my cousin* lay dead and rotting in his apartment for the past couple of weeks and no one knew about it.
FUCK.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
The phone call started, "Is Phil with you?" And I knew something was up. "I need to tell you something about M..." And I knew it was bad.
Ah, god, it hurts. I was going to marry him when I was a little girl. He was so sweet to me. I remember thinking what kind eyes he had. He was much older - fifteen years? twenty? I don't know. But he always had time to play.
Oh, M... I know we lost touch as I got older but you will be missed. You're in my heart, dear.
Love you and miss you.
(* Not J, Miss Em's daddy. J's brother.)
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